or How to handle lack of Motivation ✨
Some of you asked me after my last post, why do we sometimes don't do what we want, even when we have the energy. Some even asked why they were lazy and procrastinating 😳 and wondered what can be done.
I shall start with the reasons, the unconscious ones, that run us sometimes against our will and against all good reason 😉
We do or don’t do something, as a result of what we assume about the way and/or about the outcome. Which means, that our brain, for the sake of our survival, is constantly processing information – from within us and from our surroundings, interprets that, (based on the knowledge that already exist in it), and predicts what is going to happen in accordance with this data (also based on the existing knowledge). So, when we do have the energy, and we still don’t do, or don’t feel motivated, or maybe even feel actual resistance from the thought of doing, one of the following is occurring inside of us –
1. The brain’s assumption about the way to the result, or parts of it, or even the result itself, is negative. Meaning it holds information, that the about to happen, is going to be unpleasant to us, maybe even very. This doesn’t mean that this information is the whole truth, it just means that this is the available information. This could even be a result of an unpleasant childhood event, that as adults we may think of as meaningless, but as children, it was very unpleasant to us, so our mind wants to avoid it ever since.
2. Same assumption could be creating an inner conflict, by threatening important values of ours or opposing our beliefs. And as we know, when we pull strongly together to opposite directions, there’s no movement.
3. When “weighting” all the resources we’re going to invest in Doing, along with the gains of the outcome, the result is: “this will cost us more than it’ll be effective to us”. And yet again, in the name of survival, our brain will choose to save the resources and we either will not start doing, or start and stop again and again.
So, what do we do about it?
Fortunately, there are some options ✨✨✨
1. We can imagine the desired outcome, as if we have already achieved it, maybe even without getting too tired from the way 😎 What do we see there? What do we hear? And mostly – how do we feel?
In case we cannot imagine the outcome, it could be vecause we tried to "look too far". If so, we shall divide the way to phases, smaller steps, and imagine the desired outcome of every step at a time.
The positive feeling of the achievement fuels us with Motivation and gets us going! Remembering the feeling and “Keeping our eyes on the prize”, will keep us on track.
Not getting any positive feeling from the imagined result? This would be the place to examine which part is perceived as unpleasant, and to double check with ourselves, if it is necessarily so! Because if it is, maybe this thing is not the right thing for us to do and achieve.
In case of a “Must do chore”, not something that we want to do, but something that we must/need to do for work purposes/ family/ friends, etc., we can remind ourselves what is important to us – in our work/ family/ friends, and how this will also benefit us personally and not only the others 💞
2. And what if imagining positive outcomes still doesn’t get us off the sofa? In this case, we can start imagining the things that will happen in case we don’t do anything, and also the ones that won’t happen, that are important to us and we want/need 😅. Neuroscientists have found, that Motivation appears also from experiencing in our imagination the outcomes we wish to avoid, that are the results of us not doing. In fact, this was found as a strong drive to action, when the desired state doesn’t get us going. This way, our will to avoid the undesired outcomes, will “pull us off the sofa”, and then we can use the desired outcomes as stimulators and rechargers 💫💫💫
Non of the above works? Maybe it’s time to rest, take this off our to-do list, and find a different outcome / way.
3. When we’re "stuck on the sofa" as a result of an inner conflict, we can spend the time on the sofa looking inward, to identify which values collide, so we can find the “bridge” between these values, that will create a “both” situation instead of an “or / either” one, for example how can I cook dinner and enjoy it (true story!). And if we have recognized limiting beliefs, we can also recall situations in which these beliefs weren’t true, such as a success moment vs. the belief "we’re not good enough" 💖
And if you have read this far, you are the lucky winner of the link to the playlist, created by the neuroscientist, Dr. Jacob Jolij, who found them to be uplifting and elevating 💃🕺
Have a good and successful week, with balanced and balancing Doing 🤗😇
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